E43: Collaboration vs. Competition with Rubina Dhani, LMFT + Raye Zaragoza
March Theme: Collaboration vs. Competition
March is Women’s History Month and we’ll be celebrating all month long, centering our conversations around the theme of “Collaboration vs. Competition.” Join us as we explore and break down the myths, stereotypes, and societal norms designed to keep women small, competing, and tearing each other down. It doesn’t have to be this way, and with our guests, we’ll learn how to navigate difficult conversations, establish boundaries, and step into our full expression.
This Week’s Guests
Rubina Dhani, LMFT
Rubina holds a Master's degree in psychology, is a Holistic Life Coach, trauma healer, EMDR trained, and is a loving dog mom. After graduating from Cal State Northridge University, she obtained her master’s in arts-psychology and she now has a practice here right here in San Diego that primarily serves multicultural individuals, immigrant children, families, and intercultural couples.
In our conversationn (starts at 7:45), we discuss:
What is the difference between collaboration and competition and how does that manifest in your personal life and as a therapist?
Where did we learn to compare and how can we self-soothe when we find ourselves spiraling from comparison-itis?
When other women tear us down, how can we move into a conversation about the conflict and establish boundaries?
When it comes to spiritual practices, who are your teachers? Are they honoring the traditions of the ritual?
What does it mean to “decolonize” wellness? Does this apply only to people of color?
Can white folks participate in holistic healing practices or is that cultural appropriation?
If you live in California, you can see Rubina in her private practice, and for folks outside of California, Rubina is starting a new coaching program and you can learn more about both here: Connect With Rubina
with musical guest, Raye Zaragoza
Raye Zaragoza is a galvanizing presence, a self-assured artist making music to fight for, represent, and celebrate those left too long outside the spotlight. Known for tenacious feminist anthems and fearless protest folk, her stage presence teems with determined morale. However, Zaragoza was not always the fortified woman of color who takes the stage today.
As a Japanese-American, Mexican, Indigenous woman, Zaragoza spent much of her early life trying to assimilate with the world around her, to meet punishing standards of beauty synonymous with just one color of skin—and not her own. Raye confesses, “I truly thought that in order to be beautiful, you had to be white.” She has come a long way from that youthful pain, proclaiming “I am proud to be a multicultural brown woman with insecurities and a vibrant intersectional identity that I continue to grapple with. I hope young girls of today will know that the It Girl is whatever the hell they want to be.”
This rightful confidence radiates across Woman in Color, Zaragoza’s sophomore album out now on Rebel River Records, her own independent label. The album delivers powerful missives about embracing one’s own identity and discovering the power behind it, all across brisk, emotive, compelling folk melodies. Once deemed “one of the most politically relevant artists in her genre” by Paste Magazine, Raye Zaragoza now offers an intimate exploration of coming into her own, in a country where for many, simply existing is political.
In our conversation (starts at 57:00), we discuss:
How did you stay grounded on tour versus now that you’re not touring?
Do you have any favorite teachers or resources for healing practices?
How does Collaboration vs. Competition manifest in your personal life and in the music industry?
Is there anything you wish you had shared on the Anti-Racism Daily podcast that you forgot to mention?
A quick recap of that conversation (find the full interview here)
Creating your own lane and using your own measuring stick
Scarcity mindset and how to stop fighting for scraps
