What is the book about?

Last week, as we were wrapping up the cover design for the book (you'll see it soon!), I knew it was almost time to submit my manuscript for formatting and design. Not to say that I can't make changes after the fact, but I needed to start getting things ready for the pre-sale of the book.

When I was filling out the information to have my book listed in Ingram Spark's catalog - the document that bookstores, libraries, and other organizations receive to learn what new titles are available - I had to write the long description and the short description of the book. These blurbs would be the words that capture the attention of book buyers around the world, and the pressure was on.

My first round of these descriptions was terrible. I freaked out and thought about how I wasn't taken seriously when I first articulated this chapter of my life to my family. In that moment, I forgot about the boundaries I've established and slipped right into pre-boundary thinking. If they couldn't understand me, if my own father said my story was bullshit, what would a random reader think?

I thought, okay, I need to be taken seriously. I need to make sure these descriptions sound official and business-ey so people know I'm not a joke, so they know I mean business with this book.

The result was total garbage, and I knew it. Writing from that space was a laborious chore versus a delightful retreat into myself.

I sent it off to my mentor, asking him if he could take a look. He's pretty close to the project and has read the book so he knows what it's about, but he's not so close to it that his judgment is clouded, like mine clearly was.

His response?

"So the honest truth? I don't love either of the descriptions (short or long)."

I noticed what was happening in my body (and what wasn't):

• No rush to defend, no tightness in my chest and throat.

• No tears welling up behind my eyes (my trauma-response reaction when I feel that I've been misunderstood).

• I let out a huge exhale.

• I knew in my gut he was right.

These boundaries I established with my family are over a year old now, but I still have some residual self-doubt from that chapter of my life. I was pleased to see that my physical body didn't have an adverse reaction to the feedback, as it had so many times before over the course of my life.

We hopped on the phone and he shared about how the descriptions just didn't capture what the book or the movement we're building is about. What I had written was basically a bulleted list of the timeline of the story, and gave the readers no indication as to what they'll get out of it or why they should read it.

I thought of my meetings all week - where I showed all the way up, full expressed - and how well the meetings went. I proved to myself last week that it's safe to be Sydney, and in fact, when I do that, magic tends to follow.

"You mean I can write it the way I wrote the book and just show up as myself on the back cover and everything will be fine?" I replied - half joking, half asking.

"When you're Sydney, everything works out. When you try to fit into a box, it's really obvious and it doesn't land in the same way. Being you is your magic." he responded.

WELL HOT DAMN, OKAY THEN!

Hearing the feedback and the subsequent discussion was the last little nudge I needed to just go out there and be me, all the time.

I love that I was able to connect the dots between my meetings and my writing. I love that I was brave enough to send the shitty version of the book descriptions to him, even when I knew it wasn't my best work. It was a big moment for me because in the past I've been reluctant to share anything until it's all the way done and buttoned up. This was work in progress, and it wasn't my best, but I didn't hide from that fact. I knew he wouldn't tell me it was great unless it was, and I knew he was capable of offering feedback - positive or negative - in a kind way.

I knew once I cleared out the last of my self-doubt, I would be able to write this the way I wanted to write it, not the way I thought I should write it.

So what is the book about?

here’s the officially official description: 

Have you ever spoken unkindly to yourself? Do you know you need to make a change but find yourself completely paralyzed by the choices in front of you? We live in a hyper-connected, always-on world, and frankly, it's exhausting. It's time to disconnect from your distractions and reconnect with yourself.

Hiking My Feelings: Stepping into the Healing Power of Nature is more than a collection of trail tales - it’s a guide for how to start your healing journey and do the work to step into the best version of yourself. Whether or not you've ever set foot on a trail, we’re all wandering through life with these invisible backpacks on and they are heavy. Over the course of our lives, we pick up our own trauma and we carry things for others - their fears, their insecurities, their expectations for how we should live our lives. The weight of the stuff we are carrying silently is killing us slowly. We are (and our communities are) affected by trauma, and when we don’t get help, it manifests as mental and physical disease. Join Sydney Williams as she unpacks her "traumapack" and shares the story of how hiking helped her heal her mind and body - kicking her limiting beliefs and Type 2 Diabetes to the curb in the process.

But wait, there's more! 

Hiking My Feelings: Stepping into the Healing Power of Nature is a memoir, coloring book, and journal. After you finish reading, transition into a state of mindfulness by completing the coloring page. The back section of the book includes prompts for reflection and space to write, incorporating practical lessons from the trail that you can integrate into your own life.